How Did I Ever Manage Without an Army of Help?

I currently employ two nannies, one live-in, one live-out. Soon, I will need the live-out nanny to live in (once my bed and extra beddings arrive). Then, I will have to hire a full-time driver for the family.

By now you probably think I must be the most idle person ever. Not so. Life is as tiring as it used to be in Menlo Park, where everything was DIY and I had no help whatsoever. How could that be?

The answer is that life in the United States is much simpler and much more convenient. I don't need a driver because people drive in an orderly fashion (except in NYC) and there is plenty of parking to go around in Suburbia USA.

Come to Beijing and have someone drive you around once. If this is your first trip here, by the end should you find yourself curled up in fetal position, holding the handle in a death grip, shaking violently and praying to God for the first time in xx many years and promising that you'll start going to church every Sunday--heck, everyday, if you are still alive--again like a good little boy/girl, you'll be pleased to know that you aren't the only foreigner to experience such. Mr. Mouse Potato and I ventured to the supermarket in my dad's car all by ourselves last weekend and we barely made it back home (though mostly because Mr. MP is bad at directions). I, for one, have no death wish to fulfill so I refuse to drive. A professional driver costs $300 a month and I think that's money well spent.

If you've never been to China, I don't really have a good way to convince you why the house needs cleaning and dusting everyday. However, you probably know of someone who suffers from an especially pernicious five-o'clock shadow. The dust in Beijing is like the facial hair on someone who grows a full-beard the next day if not shaved the day of. The house isn't in livable condition if not cleaned everyday. That's why there is a nanny devoted to cleaning the house.

Then of course there is Juju and Jojo. For $300 a month I can hire a full-time live-in nanny, so why not? Even with two nannies, I still have to cook; and I have to cook now for a house of six! That's no small task. Of course I can hire a cook, but I tell you, having to manage a houseful of help is a LOT of work, and one more is really going to break my back, ironically.

When I did everything myself, everything was done to my satisfaction. Now I must train the nannies to clean the way I want and care for the kids the way I would. They never really quite live up to my standards and I have to settle for good enough. I have to interview several drivers before deciding on The One and I have to think of ways to prevent the driver from running away with our car or taking it out for joy rides. Every month I must remember to pay everyone the right amount, plus bonuses as appropriate. I also have to think of ways to motivate them to do a good job while looking for signs that they may be derelict in their duties. I so much prefer when good old meself was all the help I needed.

By the way, I get really irked when people say "I want to stay home because I want to raise the kids myself". So, what are working moms doing? Throwing their kids to the wolves? And staying home does not raise your own children make. I stay home now (before going back to work in September) and I cannot say I raise my own children all by myself. The kids are with Auntie as much as they are with me, and when Jujube is upset or hurt, she will just as often run to Auntie instead of me. I'm not bothered. As long as the kids grow up healthy physically and mentally, it's not important that I am the one with whom they spend the most time. I need to work. You might as well kill me before asking me to be a stay at home mom.